Chapter 8

Nicki rolled over to look at SB snoring away. She looked down over her body and groaned at how tired she look and felt. She had stayed up and listened most of the night as he argued with Karen in his sleep. She still has a hold on him that I can't compete with. She got up and looked over herself in the mirror and noticed her pale face and thinning hair. I'm stressing out too much, I'm looking so basic and bald. She sighed then walked to the bathroom and began her morning ritual.

She paced to the bedroom after getting out in her bathrobe. She grabbed her clothes and placed them in the clothes basket then walked into the warm bedroom. She looked over at the empty bed then around for Safaree. She shrugged then went to her dresser and pulled out a pink and white bra/thong set that would go under her black and pink business suit. She began putting on her underwear when SB came storming in the room and grabbed a belt. She watched his body language then they glimpsed into each others' eyes as he walked out. Nicki hopped to her feet after putting on her bra and followed behind him.

"Zuri didn't I tell you to get up!"

"Ya ya ya yeah."

"So you heard me and you STILL laid there."

"B b b b but....."

He swung the belt and hit her across the legs. Nicki stepped in and grabbed his arm before he hit her again. He yanked away and turned facing her. Zuri balled behind them as they stared each other down. He is so fucking stupid. It's four in the morning where the hell is she going? She crossed her arms across her chest.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Stop yelling it's FOUR in the morning! Zuri go back to sleep."

"No Zuri stay up so I can finish whooping your ass."

Zuri stood in place near the bed. She looked confused as who to listen to. Nicki eyed her and she got in the bed slowly. Nicki looked at him and grabbed his shirt. She pulled him out of Zuri's room. She turned out the lights and closed the door.

"Safaree, I can't deal with you... I don't know what.... Actually I do ... And you're about to be living where ever the fuck she lives at if you ever hit my baby again like that at fucking we hours of the day! You got that?"

"Yo I don't know who the fuck you think you talking too, but you better fix up and I mean now. Before I use this belt on you."

"Lloyd don't fucking flatter yourself, I will fuck you up. I'm tired of your constant bullshit, bitching and baggage. You want that bitch Karen so bad then go get her and get the fuck out of my bed and home!"

She screamed becoming upset at everything that happened in the last four months. He stood there looking at her face. She walked off and started to get dressed. He walked in looking her over and not caring about what she said. She better calm that shit down.

"You making breakfast?"

"No, I'm going out for break.."

He grabbed her arm and turned her around and snarled in her face.

"Who the fuck you meeting?"

"No-one, I always go out for breakfast it's Tuesday."

She said looking into his angry eyes. This isn't the same Safaree, I miss my baby. She let tears fall from her face as she looked at the man before her. He was hurting, angry and out of character. His hard look softened once he saw her crying. He let her go and sat on the chair near the bed and put his head in his hands and cried.

"I'm sorry Nicki."

She didn't respond just grabbed her purse and placed it on the bed. She pulled on her clothes then stepped into her heels. It's going to take more than sorry, he needs some help and hopefully Dr. Wilson can help him, us. She grabbed her purse and brushes passed him into Zuri's room.

"Wake up baby, get your clothes, book bag and lets go."

"We leave..."

"No, I'm going to get LJ and you need to be by the door, ready to go."

"Okay."

Nicki stood by the door and watched as Zuri swung her legs over the bed and grabbed her toothbrush and walked past her. She followed her behind her making her way into LJ's room. She crept around all his things on the floor. Why is his room so junkie? I've told him...

"SHIT!"

She blurted out hitting her knee on a small desk in his room. She bent forward grabbing her knee as LJ sat up and clicked on his light. He stepped out of his bed and aided her. She pushed his hand back as she stood up and looked around his room.

"When you get home, you better clean this shit up."

"Sorry, mom."

"Yeah, Yeah... Get your clothes for today and book bag and lets go."

She stated limping out of his room. She limped down the stairs and into the kitchen. She grabbed two cereal bars, orange juice and her cup of tea then stretched out her leg as she walked towards the door.

"Bye, I'm out the door."

She stood against the sofa as they both ran down the stairs. She smirked as she held out their breakfast and followed them out the door.

~~~~~~

"What you doing here so early?"

"I have the kids and I'm going to meet this therapist before I kill him."

"Who, LJ?"

"Senior."

"What happen?"

"What's not happening?"

Candi leaned against her desk and looked over the papers she was shuffling around. Nicki picked up a few more papers before looking up at Melissa.

"Go get the kids out the car."

"You left my babies in the car?"

"They're sleeping and they have to go to school at nine after their doctors appointment."

"So take them to the doctor, feed them and drop them off at school?"

"Yes, please and make sure Zuri doesn't leave your sight when you guys get there cause..."

"I know just get your husband right, so he can do this shit."

"Love you!!"

She shouted rushing out the back door. She kissed her kids as she made her way back to her car. She looked in the mirror then out at the road as she hurried down the road. She pulled out the paper and called out what she saw on it to her GPS.

~~~~~~

Nicki sat in the lounge waiting to be called back. Oh my gosh, a whole thirty minutes and I haven't been called. She looked around the empty lounge and sighed. What's the point of making an appointment and he's still late? She sat up on the edge of the chair and leaned on the arm of it staring at the door.

"Miss Maraj?"

"Yes."

"Dr. Wilson will have you."

"Okay."

Pauz. Nicki thought laughing to herself as she followed behind the young girl. She walked down the hall after the woman as she turned down a hallway then opened a door and stood to the side letting her in. A tall, slim and pale male stood as she walked in. They exchanged hand shake and sat down.

"How can I help you Miss Maraj?"

"Dr. Wilson, my boyfriend needs help."

"What's going on?"

"He's controlling, fighting and arguing in his sleep and not himself."

"Hmm, and what is that you want me to do?"

"Help him the best way you can, so I can have him back."

He looked her over then sat up against the desk. This fool better be able to help me. Three hours away from home and it's already ten am. She sighed once he stood up and handed her a piece of paper and a book.

"This is a discount for in home camera so that you can film his activity in the house. I want you to set up all the cameras in each room including bathrooms, but face them only towards the sink away from the showers and this book is my work and what I will be doing from the observation of the videos. I want you to do this for two weeks then come back and see me."

"Thank you so much."

She squealed a little. He nodded his head then walked back around his desk. God, one step to getting him back to normal. She thought turning to make her way out the door.

"Oh, Miss Maraj when you come back in two weeks being the footage."

"I will."

********

[Thursday]

Sonja, SB's mother, paced back and forth as Nicki sat quiet not feeling a thing like she was numb. They both had no words as Sonja read over the letter Nicki had given to her. What the hell am I going to do? He can't be serious. She didn't know whether to be sympathetic or pissed off. I'm right here every fucking day dealing with his shit and he ups and leaves. She sat on his mother's sofa staring at the letter. It was long, but the words felt distant. "Nicki I'm sorry, I need space." Space from what? I'm the one who she be asking for space!

"Onika baby?"

"Mom."

"Talk baby, talk to me."

"What is there to say?"

"You're thinking, so you have something to say."

Nicki shook her head and sighed loudly as the tears fell from her eyes. Sonja came to her and tried comforting her, but she pushed her away. She birthed this dumb ass fool.

"Your son is so fucking selfish it don't make any sense. I'm so tired of going the extra mile of letting this fool in and he walks out again. Three days. Should've known his ass was gone again."

Nicki shook her head and balled up the note. She stood up and grabbed her purse from the table. I can't even be here right now, let me go pick up my kids.

"Mom, I'll call you later, I love you and tell him I love him too when he calls you."

"Okay baby."

~~~~~~

SB sat in his room and thought about what he was going to write for the days activity. What makes me angry? As the thought sank into his head, Karen came up. SB sat up and put her name on his activity board under the question then listed the reasons why and on the other side was Nicki's name and the things he had done to her because of his sadness, anger and jealous behavior.

SB had gotten a call from Dr. Wilson Tuesday after lunch and had started questioning him because it was Nic's phone that he had called to update her, but he answered. When he found out who Dr. Wilson was he relaxed and told him that he needed to be seen sooner than two weeks. Dr. Wilson had contacted him back two hours after their first conversation and had him set up for in home therapy at his office.

That Tuesday before his family came home he packed lightly, but enough so not to alarm them. He took the three hour drive to the place and got signed in and placed in his temporary home for two weeks. If he got better without the medicine then he could go home, but if he needed to be put on it then he could have visitors.

"Yo, Beezy you up?"

"Yeah, what's up Craig?"

"You can make your two phone calls."

"Two?"

"I pulled some strings and got you a deal with Doc."

"What's the catch?"

"You have to speak first at the next meeting."

"I can do that."

He answered get up from his spot and making his way to the phone booth. He sat on the chair and first dialed his mother. As the phone rang he thought about calling Nic, but didn't want to face the anger he knew she had towards him. He looked at the clock and noticed that the kids were at after school. I'll call them.

"Hello?"

"Ma?"

"Safaree? Where are you?"

"Getting help."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm alright... I miss you guys."

"We miss you, Nicki was here a couple if hours ago... She got your letter."

"She mad?"

"Mad isn't the word son."

"She just don't understand man, I need this space for myself and her. Tell her that I'm seeing Dr. Wilson and I'm getting help. I'll be home in two weeks or she can come visit in two weeks...."

"Calm down, I will let her know, be safe and get better for your kids and wife. She said she loves you."

"Karen?"

"No Nicki."

"Don't call her my wife, that's my life."

She smiled on the other end of the phone as SB became upset a little at the mention of "wife". It finally clicked that Karen was his problem and she was fucking up his life while she was actually fighting to save hers. He explained to his mom about the program and his small progresses of explaining his feelings more freely and open. She was excited to hear that in only a few days he was making better of himself and before she hung up, she prayed for him and they disconnected.

He took a deep breath and called LJ's phone. It felt like it was ringing forever as he waited to hear his young voice. He jerked a little at the sound of Zuri's high pitched voice yelling hello in a sing song voice.

"Heeeyyyylllooooo, LJ's sister speaking, speak yo mind."

LJ cackled in the background as she spoke. SB sat quiet as they share a laugh then Zuri began to talk again. This time annoyed.

"Hello? Are you going to talk or are you just going to listen to me talk?"

"Amore, is that how you talk to grown people?"

"DADDY!"

"What Dad? Let me talk to him!"

"No, I answered for him."

"So it's my phone."

"Take it from me and I'll tell Mommy you got one."

SB chuckled as LJ mumbled. Zuri began rumbling off and talking about what was going on at the After School then got quiet not hearing him respond.

"Daddy you there?"

"Yeah, Amore."

"Why you leave us? Mommy was crying."

"I'm taking care of some business and I'll be back in two weeks."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Here LJ, talk to daddy cry baby."

"Punk, give me my stuff before I punch you out."

"Do it!"

"Shut up, What's up Big Guy?"

"Cool, Lil Dude... You holding it down at the crib?"

"Trying, but women are so emotional and punkish, like Zuri."

"No I'm not... I'm tougher than you."

"Anyways, when you coming back, Big Guy?"

"Two weeks if everything goes good..."

"Wait, what does that mean? You and Mommy mad at each other?"

"No... I don't think so... It's a lot to explain son, but I'm coming back home."

"You better... You promised you'd stay forever. Can we come see you?"

"In two weeks."

"Is everything in two weeks? What if I need a man talk before....."

"Mommy's outside."

"Do you want to talk to Mom?"

"I'll talk to her later, ya'll be good and stay off your mom's nerves."

"Got it! I won't... Can't say the same for Zay."

"You keep her in check."

They said their goodbyes then SB made his way out of the booth and to his third meeting with Dr. Wilson and the other six people that were in his group. He held his activity board in his hand and prepared to talk to the group about his problem for the first time since he had gotten there.

******

"MOMMY, GUESS WHAT?"

"Yes, Zay'more."

"We talk to Daddy today."

"Your mouth is always running.."

"We weren't suppose to tell her. Oh."

"Dummy."

"LJ don't start that secret shit with me again. Zay'more you can tell me anything and everything. Don't be like your brother cause that could get you popped."

Nicki said looking over at him. He smirked showing his deep dimples then looked out the window, then back to see if she was still looking at him and she was. She huffed then looked in the rear view mirror at Zuri. Zuri smiled then began to tell her about the conversation she had with SB.

"Daddy said he will be back in two weeks."

"He told me if everything goes alright."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Mommy are you mad?"

"No, why?"

"You're cursing..."

"No, Mommy's just tired...."

Of you father's bullshit and stupidity. Two weeks and where the fuck is he that he can go for two weeks? I don't know a damn please for yourself that you can just go for two weeks. He could of told me where he's going instead of just up and leaving. Acting like I'm the damn person who's trying to harm him. I'm the one who needs a fucking break from him not this way around. She thought pulling out of the lot.

"He said he's handling some business..."

"Yep, business."

'Did he ask about me?"

"No, but I asked if he wanted to talk to you and he said no."

"Wow, okay."

"Don't be sad Mommy maybe next time he'll talk to you and not us."

"Shut up, Zuri.."

"I'm just trying to help you fat meanie."

"Fat mouth."

"Fat head."

"LJ and Zay not right now."

They both silenced at once looking and watching her movement as she went into her purse for her phone. She pulled it out and called his mother as tears fell down her face. She slowed down as she came closer to the house and her vision became cloudy with tears. So he didn't ask about me at all? Like I'm not hurting and like this doesn't fucking affect me also. I can't believe this bastard. All this shit and I can't even get a simple, I'm sorry from him personally?

"Onika.. Hey..."

"Mom, your son called the kids."

"That's good and he called me too."

"What?"

"Yes, he told me to let you know that he's at Dr. Wilson in home mental caring insitiute and that he should be out in two weeks if he's doing good without needing medicine and that you'll get a call when you can come visit him."

"Wait, Dr. Wilson? How did he find out?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm glad he's getting some help, oh and he said he loves you."

"Me too and here I am cussing him out and he's doing the right thing."

Sonja laughed as Nicki went on a rant about him being secretive about it. The kids looked at her as if she was bipolar as she beamed up with happiness. Zuri and LJ exchanged looks as she stepped out the car and followed them in the house.

"Yes, Mom."

"Let me call you back Onika."

"Okay, Talk to you later."

They hung up then Nicki turned to the kids and smiled. They awkwardly smiled back as she hugged them super tight. I don't think I can wait two weeks to see him.It's been three days and I'm going nuts.

"Kids, pack up your stuff we're going to see Daddy."